This is a picture of Bear. He’s a Chorkie (half Yorkshire Terrier, half Chihuahua):
Here is a picture of his brother, Cody. They have the same parents and are from the same litter. He’s also a Chorkie:-
Spot the difference?
Which of my girls in this picture are the twins? If you know us, then you’re a step ahead. Those who don’t, I would love to hear what you thought before you scroll down any further!
Which ones are the twins?
THIS IS MIRIE (left, stripy top) and LORIE (right), MY BEAUTIFUL TWINIES!
Did you get it right? We have great fun getting people to guess which two of the children are the twins. People very rarely guess correctly so if you got it, well done!
So why am I bringing this up?
What’s in a look?
Well I’d like to talk about one of my pet peeves!
Those of you with children on the spectrum, or if you are on the spectrum yourself, will relate to this and I’m well aware of how upsetting it can be.
It’s THAT moment when someone learns about yours, or your childrens’, ASD.
It’s THAT moment when they look you or your child up and down and come out with immortal words: “Oh, they/you don’t look autistic!”
It’s that moment when you feel your blood boil and at the same instance have that sinking feeling of “When will people get it?”.
Even if the commenters mean it in a good way, it’s really annoying.
You can’t ‘see’ autism; it’s to do with brain wiring so there’s very rarely anything to ‘see’, but that doesn’t mean that the challenges aren’t immense and often life-changing.
It’s the same with mental health challenges; you can’t ‘see’ them but that doesn’t mean that they’re not causing the person a huge amount of distress.
People can’t ‘see’ that Bear and Cody are brothers from the same litter.
People can’t ‘see’ that Lorie and Mirie are twins.
But that doesn’t alter the fact that they are.
The front people put on can hide myriad challenges
Please stop judging on looks alone.
Things aren’t always as they seem and every single person deserves understanding and tolerance, whether they have hidden challenges or not.
Everyone deserves a second chance, and everyone deserves respect. Maybe if our world was more accepting and understanding of people’s differences we would all get along a lot better. Everyone has a story you know nothing about.
So here’s what I’m asking of you…
When my children tell you that they are autistic, please don’t respond with the words “You don’t look autistic”.
It’s taken a lot of courage to tell you in the first place, so don’t invalidate them by disputing the truth.
And for everyone else out there, I won’t stop banging on about understanding, acceptance and tolerance whilst I still have the ability to breathe! I’m on your side!