Autistic straight lines and Papier Mache coffins?!

A quick Osborn moment to start with!  They have finally finished delivering the blasted leaflets, I took the bull by the horns on Friday and told them I was driving around with them until it was finished.  The fact it wasn’t completed had nothing to do with lack of desire or commitment on their part, it had just been an incredibly busy week for everyone and it was a time consuming venture.  I took control because I just wanted one less thing on my list to worry about!

The remaining roads were spread all over Kenilworth so I drove them, dropped them off and then waited at the bottom of the road for them to catch up with me.  Half way round we came to a road that is a circle, not a crescent, a circle, so it started and finished at the same place.  They got out of the car and I told them it was a circle so I would just wait where I was for them to come back to the beginning.  Osborn looked at me and said ‘So where will we meet you?’.  ‘Here’ I said.  ‘So which way do we need to go he asked?’.  ‘It’s a circle’ I reiterated ‘it doesn’t matter which was you go’.  ‘So how are we going to find you?’.  He looked concerned.  Finally…I think rather in the way we speak loudly in English in the hope that a foreigner will understand us better I shouted ‘ Osborn, it’s a bloody circle!  It doesn’t matter where you start or which way you go you’ll end up back here!’.  He still looked perplexed as he muttered ‘Ok’ and wandered off in a clockwise direction and started putting leaflets through doors.  Nikita, who had been doing a block of flats during all of this then came over and asked me what she should do.  I told her to do the inner part of the circle.  ‘Which bit is that?’ she asked.  I pointed across the road and told her where Osborn had started and therefore where she should start.  She looked equally confused and I had to physically show her where to go.

Fascinating that a road that isn’t a straight line confused them both so much but autistic people do tend to think in straight lines!  Having a road to deal with that deviated from the ‘norm’ completely threw them.

On another subject, Vicki and I had promised ourselves months ago that we would find some way of going to the Peace Festival in Leamington for a couple of hours together.  We’re both a couple of  ‘hippies’ at heart so we sneaked off together yesterday morning to go to the bathroom shop where Vicki is buying her new bathroom and then onto the festival.

As we wandered around we came across a stall that was selling ‘Natural Burials’?  What on earth was that?  I really didn’t want to view the lovely cardboard and rattan coffins they had on display but Vicki is fascinated by it all so we duly spent fifteen minutes viewing a catalogue of environmentally friendly coffins in all shapes, colours and materials and looked at the natural meadow that is the burial ground.  I have to say that the whole idea is lovely but apart from the fact I really don’t want to focus on that stuff yet, I have already told my children what my funeral is to be! It must ensue as follows:

Everyone is to wear fluorescent, wacky clothes like tutu’s, big silly flowers etc…whether they like it or not.  As my coffin is carried into wherever they decide to hold the gathering they are to play Queen’s song ‘Don’t Stop me Now’, there are to be no tears, wailing or beating of breasts.  Just one whacking great big celebration of life in general.  As everyone leaves they’ve got to play ‘I want to break free’ again by Queen.  Then onto the party that must be an absolute laugh a minute good time for everyone!  I want to go out in the same way I’ve tried to live my life….loving every minute as much as I can!

Do I want to be buried in a biodegradable coffin in a natural meadow with a tree planted on top?  Maybe?  Beats a miserable cemetery I guess.  Need to decide on that one now!  Aaaaah…..decisions, decisions????

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