Fos single parents evrywhere

So….yesterday I had three daughters with lovely boyfriends and today they’re all single??!!!  All on the same day, all unplanned, all not wanted!  One hasn’t been sure for a while, one felt her guy wanted more than she can give with all the other commitments she has and the other came right out of the blue.

So, here I am, with three grouchy, heartbroken children and another three all al the end of school year week who are all off the wall because autistic children just don’t do change.  I’m feeling totally traumatised by the whole thing which is likely to continue right through the holidays!  It suddenly occurred to me this morning as I rushed around desperately trying to ram Pippa’s breakfast down her because she can’t sleep and got up late that I support and look after everyone 24/7 but there’s no-one supporting me! 

Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not feeling sorry for myself but it did occur to me that we all need someone sometimes to bounce ideas off and to give us a cuddle and tell us everything will be ok.  As a single parent you have to make every decision right from the minutia of what to buy in the supermarket right up to the major decisions of where to live, what school your child should attend etc…  The upside is that if you make a mistake you only have yourself to blame but the downside is that with no-one to discuss things with it’s easier to make the wrong decision.

I don’t feel lonely, I’m perpetually surrounded by people, however I do very often feel very alone.  Times like now are particularly hard when everyone around me is falling apart, the autistic traits become more pronounced because of the high levels of anxiety and I’m in the middle trying to hold it all together!

We’ll all get through, we always do but I did shed a few tears this morning.  A mixture of feeling somewhat helpless and the frustration that comes with it and the feeling that I’m in this alone.

So….for single parents everywhere…this is for you.  I know how you feel, I know how hard it can be but there’s always a rainbow at the end of the storm and very often our children are that rainbow and that’s why we keep going regardless.  Chin up!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *