In conversation with Osborn !!! Fascinating !!

Right….today I wold like to illustrate a typical ‘conversation’ with Osborn !!  Maybe this will illustrate why I’m sometimes seen tearing my hair out at the roots.

We were driving home yesterday from Osborn and Pippa’s annual statement reviews ( which were both amazingly positive by the way ! ) when we passed one of the ‘Space Invader’ mosaics in Common Lane.  Ozzy pointed the coloured one out to me which I’d been trying to remember the location of.  Whether these particular ones were actually done by ‘Invader’ himself or are copies we haven’t managed to find out so if anyone knows please get in touch !!  He’s a street artist who has placed these mosaics all over the world including on all of the letters that spell Hollywood !!

Anyway, I digress.  Having seen the mosaic Osborn asked me why no-one had taken them down.  I couldn’t answer this one except to say that they had been placed on council property so the council themselves must have decided to leave them.  This led onto him asking about graffiti in general.  If he wrote DICK on the pavement would the council cover it up ?  Yes I replied, it’s offensive. ‘How much would it cost to cover it up ?’ was the next question.  ‘I have no idea’ I answered but with the materials required and the man hours involved….a lot !

His next question was ‘Why do they leave graffiti on walls ?’.  ‘Probably because they’re privately owned and it’s up to the owner to decide to deal with it’ I said.  ‘So could you buy a wall to graffiti onto then ?’ came next !  ‘Why would you want to ?’ I asked.  ‘I don’t know’ he replied ‘ just so you could graffiti on it !’. 

I could kind of see where this conversation was going to by this time.  It was going straight to Osborn pedantic land !!  We ended up discussing whether to council would sell him a wall ?  I told him ‘no’.  ‘What I offered the a billion pounds was the response !’  ” In that case’ I muted…’they would probably consider it.  But why would you buy a wall from a council ?  If you had that much money you could build your own wall or lots of your own walls and graffiti them as much as you wanted !’  ‘SO’……he answered, ‘the council would sell you one of their walls if you paid enough for it !!’ He sounded triumphant !!

Everything has a price I answered weakly pondering how I managed to let myself get drawn into one of Osborn’s impossible conversations in the first place ?  After all….I know better !!

The above is abbreviated greatly….this conversation took place over fifteen minutes and I have these conversations with Osborn every day, several times a day !!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, how I would love to spend a day in his head just to work out how his brain actually functions !!  Ho hum……….

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