More explosive stuff at The Mad Shanks Residence !!!!

It was Jamie’s birthday yesterday, she’s my eldest and now 22.  It was sunny which is unusual on her birthday so we all congregated outside to enjoy the sunshine and some family time together.  It was lovely just sitting chatting and opening her cards and presents with everyone in attendance.

As always the conversation was full on and permanently verging on the bizarre which is normal in the Mad Shanks Residence.  The subject of whether the hoop was too large or the net too small reared it’s head again ( refer back to blog entitled Hoops and Nets for a deeper insight ! ) and the debate was discussed as hotly as it was last time.  Jamie and I winked at each other and made enough inflammable comments to keep the debate raging as long as possible so that we could continue to enjoy it !!  Naughty…..but great fun !!

Eventually Jamie came up with the decision that neither the Hoop nor the Net were to blame….it was the ball that was too big !!  Chris, who was sitting next to her joined her and argued alongside her that of course she was absolutely right and along with my own concurrence the debate raged on and on !!  This triggered more discussion on the subject with Osborn hotly arguing that it couldn’t be the ball because they were using a football which is smaller than a Basketball….he was having none of it !

Eventually everyone decided to agree to disagree on the subject, thank goodness !  I disappeared inside and got chatting to Lorie who was feeling a bit low for a number of reasons and we talked things through for a while.

I was just coming downstairs in order to go back into the garden when I heard screams and an incredible commotion outside.  All I could discern was Jamie screaming at Osborn to put it down and telling everyone to get to the other side of the garden….and RUN !!!!

Thinking vaguely that this all didn’t sound too promising I ran to the back door and surveyed the scene.  All of the children including Chris and Jake ( Jamie’s boyfriend ) were cowering away from the garden table and Osborn, who was looking terrified and particularly perplexed was running from the table to the assembled crowd.  Jamie was still shrieking at everyone including Osborn to get as far away from the table as possible.

I stepped outside and looked at everyone.  As always they all started talking at the same time telling me what had happened.  I couldn’t make out what they were saying apart from the occasional word which went along the lines of Osborn, petrol can, fire etc……

Eventually I managed to get them all to calm down enough to tell me what exactly had happened.  Apparently, Osborn, who had been playing with a lighter all afternoon and had been told numerous times by me to put it down, had decided that the petrol that had spilt down the side of the petrol can when he and Jake had filled the strimmer should be burnt off, and besides, he wanted to see what would happen !!

Apparently, ‘what happened’ was that the flames from the petrol had turned into a furnace with flames reaching about two feet in the air at which point Jamie had decided that everyone was in imminent and very real danger and had screamed for everyone to run.

Osborn in the meantime had PICKED UP the petrol can and was BLOWING on the flames to try and put them out !!!!!  It obviously hadn’t occurred to him that the heat could ignite the five litres of petrol inside and the ensuing explosion could have killed him and maimed everyone else !!

Once my heart had slowed to a non lethal rate again and everyone had calmed down I took Osborn to one side and asked him WHY ???  His answer was that he thought the petrol would just gradually burn off and had had no inkling that there was anything remotely dangerous about his actions !  At this time I told him the story of how his father had successfully blown himself up once with petrol and had been lucky to survive !

We had ‘the chat’ and he promised no more fire.  Two fiascos with Osborn and fire in the space of a couple of weeks was more than I could take as he narrowly escaped burning the entire house down on the last occasion !!  I don’t ‘do’ boys so I will have to rely on research that I have done which backs up my experience that not once have I had an incident with all of the girls and fire but there have been many, many times with Osborn.  As he’s the only boy my research proves the point !

Once we’d all calmed down we got ready and went to the Holiday Inn, Kenilworth for Jamie’s birthday meal and I must say to anyone reading this who lives locally, you really should go in and try it.  The food and service were excellent, portions large and if like us you enjoy conversation while you’re eating absolutely perfect.  A huge thanks to everyone there who went to an immense amount of trouble to make the evening special for Jamie.  We will definitely be back and I have it on very good authority that the Sunday lunch there is extremely good and not expensive !!!

I’m still recovering from yesterday’s trauma…should be OK by tomorrow !  Maybe by now you’re all starting to understand why I’m as insane as I am !!!

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