Osborn Strikes Again!
First off, let’s make one thing quite clear, I absolutely adore Osborn and wouldn’t change anything about him but he was having one or two of his ‘moments’ last night and the world deserves to hear about them!
The first one was as I was cooking dinner so I was pretty much a captive audience. He started by asking how one could buy an island, good to know he’s setting his sights at Richard Branson level so…….so far so good. Not absolutely sure of the answer I guessed that it was pretty much like buying land anywhere and it would probably be owned by a country if it wasn’t already in private ownership.
I’m guessing that Richard Branson’s Necker Island would do Osborn nicely?
This led on to how the island would be governed. Once again, not being an expert in International Law I mused that I imagined that island would be governed by whichever laws were applicable in the country of jurisdiction. He wasn’t satisfied. “If you own the island why can’t you make up your own laws?” he persisted.
Being on dodgy legal ground and knowing it, I was very tempted to use the age old phrase ‘Google it’ but had already realised that he wasn’t in a ‘Googling’ mood, he was in a ‘Let’s grill mum on this one’ mood. I wasn’t going to get off lightly, that was for certain! He continued to pursue his line of argument that if he owned the island he could make up his own laws.
Looking for a suitable analogy, I went for, “Osborn, I own this house but that doesn’t mean I can murder you and get away it with just because I’m on my own property”. At this point it has to be said that murder was beginning to cross my tired and ‘Osbornised’ brain! The conversation to this point had taken about 15 minutes.
Looking at the time I was relieved to see that it was ‘that time’ when I had to go out and pick Nikita up. I grabbed my bag shouting over my shoulder where I was going in an effort to execute a hasty escape but he had other ideas and came after me to the car in hot pursuit. Starting the engine wasn’t sufficient to deter him either, nor was the lame suggestion that I was already late (which I was!).
I succumbed and wound down the window and he continued to bombard me his logic on why he should be able to make up his own laws and do whatever he wanted on his own island which was technically his own country! As I started to reverse down the drive with him still stalking me I decided it was time to finally get out the big guns and as I reached the bottom of the drive I called over my shoulder my oft used war cry ‘GOOGLE IT OZ!”.
As I drove away I could still hear his voice wafting down the lane and I knew for certain that this was going to be continued on my return! Sure enough, he continued to chase me on the subject although the debate led nowhere as we went round in ever decreasing circles,
We finally ate and I relaxed a little but more was to come. Pippa, bless her, asked a relatively simple question, “How did we all pronounce the word Scone”. All I’m going to say is that only in The Mad Shanks Residence can something so simple turn into a debate that lasts all evening! Osborn on the dictionary on the laptop listening to the pronunciation of numerous different words and musing on the subject of the English language (which he does a lot!).
Believe it or not, after 2 hours of discussion, he once again chased me out of the door as I went to pick up another one of my offspring asking why ‘goes’ and ‘does’ are pronounced so differently. I found myself, for the second time speeding off into the distance musing whether it would all be over by the time I got back.
Today’s Competition…..Had he forgotten about it by the time I got back?
All answers in the comments please. Prizes will be awarded to the winners, a mention in the blog!