Good Mental Health starts at birth!

I recently had the honour of being asked to speak at the University of Cambridge alongside two other very esteemed people, Dr Abdul Raoof and Keith Leslie, Head of Trustees for the Mental Health Foundation, the oldest mental health charity in the UK.

Two very learned gentlemen that I gained a huge amount of wisdom from over the day. We discussed strategies for preventing mental health problems occurring and self help for when challenges arose, as well as what the University could offer in terms of support.

Interestingly, a lot of the students at the event appeared to place the responsibility for their mental health on the University itself rather than in their own hands. This begs the question, ‘Are we raising a generation that doesn’t take responsibility for it’s own welfare?’.

Good mental health really does start at birth

Keith Leslie told us of an initiative in poorer areas in the country that the Mental Health Foundation are undertaking in conjunction with the Government. It involves mothers with newborn babies who are being taught how to bring their children up from birth so that they are the resilient people they are going to need to be. Their first advice to the mothers is to feed their newborn and then put them straight into their cot to sleep, this helps the baby to learn to self soothe and not to rely on its mother to help it fall asleep.

I know this philosophy will grate on some people but, actually, it’s sound advice for the child’s future. We have to be able to be self sufficient at times when it comes to being able to soothe ourselves otherwise we’re back to being totally reliant on other people again. And the advocates of this training aren’t suggesting the child is never cuddled, it’s just about teaching the baby that feeding is feeding and cuddles are for when they are awake and playing.

Who’s fault is it anyway?

With so many health and safety regulations nowadays everyone is bubble wrapped in a cocoon where no-one has to take responsibility for their own health and wellbeing.

Trip over a kerbstone? Sue the council, instead of accepting that you should have been watching where you were going and if you hadn’t had your earphones in your ears you may not have been so distracted.

And I’m well aware that younger generations are fed up with us oldies (I’m 61!) harping on about the days when we did all of the things kids aren’t allowed to do now, and trust me, I did them all, from crashing into trees on a home-made go-kart to drinking from the hosepipe to swimming in the river near out house! We had great fun, hurt ourselves occasionally but learnt a lot about what to do and what to avoid next time because it hurt!

We had no ‘Use By’, ‘Sell By’ dates on food, we trusted our noses that the milk might be off, or the bread mouldy and therefore better not to eat it. The amount of perfectly good food that gets thrown away because the it’s past the date is outrageous, if it looks and smells ok, it probably is ok!

But what has all this got to do with good mental health? I believe the same principle applies, years ago life revolved around the village shop or pub and in cities, each area was a community in its own right. Everyone knew, or was aware, of the people in their community and if Gladys hadn’t been seen for a few days someone would pick up on it and ask around and someone would look in on her to see if she was ok.

People talked to each other, people socialised in person, not on-line, we had interpersonal connections that led to close bonds and friendships. Now we have pocket computers that we carry around and most of our communication is based around that.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the evolution of the mobile phone is incredible and an enormously useful resource, the problem is that we, as humans, haven’t evolved quickly enough to keep up with our technology. We don’t really know how to use it and we certainly don’t know how to teach our children how to use it safely.

I’m certainly not blaming modern technology for our poor mental health these days, what I am saying is that we seem to have forgotten that, as humans, we have to take responsibility for ourselves and not rely on other people to look out for us.

That means that our health is our responsibility, both mental and physical, doctors are there to intervene when things go so badly wrong that we really can’t take care of ourselves. Just imagine A&E on a Friday night if no-one was out drinking, or better still, drinking responsibly. The doctors would be available for the real emergencies, the unavoidable ones like the heart attacks, they wouldn’t be spending their valuable time patching people up who were injured because they were pissed and got into a fight.

Looking after ourselves selfish

As for our mental health, mental and physical health are inextricably linked, take care of your body and your mind will be as healthy as it can be. Be a real ‘couch potato’ watching 20 hours of TV a week, eat junk food, don’t be active and treat mindfulness as mumbo jumbo and you have a recipe for disaster.

And the brutal truth is that, if we do fall ill mentally, there is very little doctors can actually do on a practical level to help. They can prescribe drugs, they can direct you towards a counsellor or therapist or hospitalise you if necessary, but that’s about it. And the fact of the matter is that if you are referred for therapy of some kind, they are going to be teaching you how to take care of your own mental health anyway, better to learn early, take the required action and do your best to prevent it from all going wrong in the first place!

Of course, sometimes things happen that are beyond your control and you will crash, sadly though, unlike a broken leg that can be fixed relatively easily because the doctor can look and see instantly what’s wrong, fixing a broken mind is far more challenging. What’s going on in your head is privy only to you, therefore, understanding your own mind and the struggles within is imperative.

Learn to understand yourself as best you can, know your strengths and weaknesses and work on both. Get fit and stay that way, learn that putting your health first isn’t selfish, it’s vital for both you and those around you and work as hard on your mental wellbeing as you do on your physical health.

If you’ve never struggled with your mental health you really do want to keep it that way! Ask anyone who has and they will assure you that it’s not somewhere you want to go and sometimes it’s a place that you never fully return from. Times have changed, our lifestyles have changed, we no longer walk or cycle everywhere, the supermarket is just down the road and a take-away is a click away on our phones. We have to focus on keeping well nowadays more than ever but, trust me, it’s worth it.

FILM:- ‘Kingdom of Us’ on Netflix https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc8_spETMBY

TED Talk:- ‘Why my Autistic children don’t need a cure’ on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xts1F-PoUNA

BOOK:- ‘Unravelled’ on Amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/Unravelled-inspirational-story-journey-darkness-ebook/dp/B00L1ENC0O/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1563290341&sr=8-1